Most parents have the same quiet worry at some point:
“Is this just a phase, or is my child really struggling?”
Children’s moods, sleep, and behaviour do change as they grow. There are sulky patches, tearful evenings, and phases where they slam doors more than they speak. That’s part of growing up. But there are also moments when a child’s distress or behaviour goes beyond “just a phase” – when you start to wonder whether it’s time to get specialist help and ask,
“When should you take your child to a psychiatrist?”
This guide is here to give you clear, compassionate signposts – not to turn you into a diagnostician, but to help you trust your instincts and know when to reach out for professional support.
Important note: This article is for information only and doesn’t replace medical advice. If you’re worried about your child, especially about self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or risk of harm, seek urgent professional help immediately.
What Does a Child Psychiatrist Actually Do?
Before looking at signs, it helps to understand who you’d be seeing. A child & adolescent psychiatrist is a medical doctor who has:
- Completed full medical training.
- Mental health specialist.
- Training focused on children and teenagers.
They can:
- Assess emotional, behavioural, and developmental difficulties.
- Consider physical health, medication, family history, and environment.
- Diagnose conditions like depression, anxiety disorders, ADHD, autism, eating disorders, and more.
- Prescribe and monitor medication where appropriate.
- Work alongside psychologists, therapists, schools, and families to create a full treatment plan.
Early Signs Your Child May Need Specialist Help
It’s worth speaking to a GP, paediatrician, or mental health professional if many of these are present, or one is very severe.
- Mood Changes That Don’t Lift
Short bursts of sadness or anger happen to every child. What’s more concerning is when mood changes:
- Last for weeks rather than days.
- Seems out of proportion to what’s happening around them.
- They are getting worse.
You may see changes in your child, such as persistent sadness, irritability, anger, low energy, and loss of interest in activities they enjoy. They often talk bad about themselves and say (“I’m useless”, “nobody likes me”).
- Intense Worries, Fears, and Anxiety
It’s normal for children to worry about tests, friendships, or new situations. But anxiety becomes an issue when it is very intense or long-lasting. Anxiety affects your child’s ability to do normal life tasks. It also leads to physical symptoms (tummy aches, headaches) with no clear medical cause. Watch for warning signs, such as:
- Frequent panic or anxiety attacks.
- Extreme separation anxiety (refusing to be apart from parents).
- School refusal is linked to fear or worry.
- Rituals or repetitive behaviours they feel forced to do to “stop bad things happening”.
- Constant worries that you can’t reassure them of.
Whether this is general anxiety, OCD, or trauma related to something else, a psychiatrist can help you.
- Behaviour That Is Not Normal
All children have tantrums and push boundaries. What’s different is the behaviour that:
- It is very frequent or severe.
- Puts your child or others at risk.
- Unmanageable school or home life.
Your child may show:
- Regular, explosive outbursts that seem to come from nowhere.
- Physical aggression towards family members, peers, or animals.
- Rule-breaking or risky behaviour (such as running away, stealing, or dangerous stunts).
- Sudden, stark personality changes – for example, from outgoing to extremely withdrawn.
- Lying frequently about obvious issues, or showing very poor impulse control.
Trauma, untreated ADHD, and mood disorders can stem these behaviours.
- Changes in Sleep, Appetite, or Weight
Physical changes also show how emotionally you are affected. See for changes like:
- Difficulty in falling or staying asleep.
- Frequent nightmares or night terrors.
- Sleeping more or less than usual.
- Significant weight loss or gain.
- Very rigid food rules.
- Skipping meals.
- Preoccupation with body image.
Severe eating difficulties, quick weight loss, dizziness, or fainting are a medical emergency and need urgent assessment.
- Withdrawing from Friends, Family, and Activities
A child may be struggling more than they can say if it suddenly disconnects from the things and people they used to care about. They may:
- Avoiding friends or social situations they used to enjoy.
- Spending nearly all their time alone in their room.
- Giving up hobbies or activities out of the blue.
- Saying they “don’t care” about school, family events, or their future.
This kind of withdrawal is commonly seen in depression, anxiety, bullying, and early psychosis and it’s a legitimate reason to seek specialist help.
- Talking About Self-Harm or Wanting to Disappear
This is where the question “When should you take your child to a psychiatrist?” The answer is clear: immediately. They may:
- Talking or joking about death or wanting to disappear.
- Say things like “everyone would be better without me”.
- Self-harm (cutting, burning, hitting themselves, misusing medication).
- Researching methods of suicide or self-harm.
Emergency services, crisis teams, or specialist child and adolescent mental health services can help if you think your child may hurt themselves or someone else.
- Unusual Thoughts or Perceptions
Though it is less common, it is very important to notice early:
- Hearing voices that others can’t hear.
- Seeing things that aren’t there.
- Holding very fixed beliefs that are clearly not true, and causing distress.
- They appear very confused or disorganised in their thinking.
These can be signs of a serious mental health condition and should be assessed by a child psychiatrist as soon as possible.
GP, School, or a Psychiatrist: Where to Start?
In many systems (like the NHS), your GP or family doctor and your child’s school or pastoral team can help. You can also seek help from the local child and adolescent mental health service (CAMHS / CYPMHS). They listen to your issues, rule out other health causes, and provide initial therapy. Ask for a psychiatric referral if:
- Your child’s difficulties are severe or long-term.
- There’s a strong family history of mental illness.
- Previous therapy hasn’t helped enough.
- Medication may be needed or has been suggested.
- There is a risk of self-harm, suicide, or serious functional impairment.
Because waiting lists can be long in many areas, seeking help early – before things reach crisis point – can make a real difference.
What Happens at a Child Psychiatrist Appointment?
A first appointment is usually an in-depth, structured conversation rather than lots of tests. A psychiatrist will typically:
- Talk with you and your child about what’s been happening, for how long, and in which situations.
- Ask about sleep, appetite, school, friendships, family dynamics, and any major life events.
- Explore your child’s thoughts and feelings in age-appropriate ways,
- Review medical, developmental, and family history.
- Sometimes, they ask you and your child to fill in questionnaires about symptoms and behaviour.
At the end, they may:
- Explain what they think might be going on (or what they’re considering).
- Suggest therapy, school support, parenting work, lifestyle changes, and/or medication.
- Arrange follow-up appointments or further assessments.
You should feel able to ask questions and to be part of treatment decisions.
How Can Parents Support Their Child Through This?
Whatever stage you’re at, your role as a parent is powerful. You can:
- Listen without jumping in. Let them talk, even if what they say is hard to hear.
- Name what you notice gently: “I’ve seen you’re not sleeping well, and you seem sad a lot – I’m worried about you.”
- Reassure them that needing help is okay, not a failure.
- Keep routines as steady as possible (meals, sleep, school) while you seek support.
- Work with professionals and schools share information so your child doesn’t fall through the gaps.
Families often feel relief once they’ve asked for help, even before a diagnosis is made. Just knowing you’re not carrying it alone can be a big step.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve read this far, there’s probably already a quiet voice in you asking, “Is it time?” The question “When should you take your child to a psychiatrist?” doesn’t have a perfect one-line answer, but there are clear guides:
- When mood, behaviour, or anxiety are intense, long-lasting, or getting worse.
- When daily life, school, friendships, or family life are breaking down.
- When there’s self-harm, suicide, or serious harm risk to others.
- When earlier support hasn’t helped enough, and you need a deeper assessment.
You don’t need to wait for a crisis or for the “perfect moment”. Reaching out is not overreacting – it’s parenting with courage and care.