School Anxiety in Children: Signs, Causes and Support Before September
The final weeks of the summer holidays bring excitement about seeing friends again, meeting a new teacher or moving into a new year group. However, for some children, the closer September gets, the more worried they may become about returning to school, seeing classmates again or coping with the school day.
School anxiety can appear through changes in sleep, physical complaints, irritability, avoidance or sudden emotional outbursts.
As the new school year gets closer, parents may begin to notice more arguments at home, repeated reassurance-seeking, complaints of stomach aches or headaches, difficulty sleeping, or a child becoming visibly upset whenever school is mentioned.
Understanding what might be behind those changes can make it easier to respond in a way that helps and supports a child.
What is school anxiety?
School anxiety is a broad term used to describe anxiety or distress connected with going to school or with particular parts of school life.
The worry can be linked to academic expectations, tests or fear of getting things wrong, or it may be about friendships, bullying, being away from a parent, speaking in class, moving schools or having a new teacher.
Sometimes the difficulty is less about one specific problem and more about the return to structure itself. After several weeks of a different routine, early mornings, busy classrooms, homework and social demands can feel like a big adjustment.
This is why it is often more helpful to understand what part of school feels difficult than to treat school anxiety as one single issue.
Is it normal for a child to feel anxious before going back to school?
Some nervousness before the start of a new school year is completely normal. A child may be thinking about a new classroom, unfamiliar teachers, changing friendship groups or increased academic expectations. Children moving from primary to secondary school may also be dealing with a much bigger change in routine, independence and environment. The concern is significant when anxiety is persistent, severe or it starts to interfere with everyday life.
If your child is regularly becoming distressed, struggling to sleep, repeatedly saying they cannot go to school, experiencing frequent physical symptoms or becoming much more withdrawn or irritable, it is worth looking more closely at what is happening.
What are the signs of school anxiety in children?
Some children will talk openly about feeling worried whilst others may appear angry, upset or unusually quiet. Parents can sometimes find themselves dealing with difficult mornings without immediately recognising anxiety as a possible factor.
Signs may include:
- Stomach aches, headaches, nausea or feeling unwell, particularly before school
- Difficulty falling asleep or waking during the night
- Becoming distressed on Sunday evenings or as the school holidays come to an end
- Asking repeatedly for reassurance about school, teachers or friendships
- Becoming more reluctant to leave home or separate from a parent
- Irritability, tearfulness or emotional outbursts when school is discussed
- Trying to avoid school or repeatedly asking to stay at home
- Changes in eating, sleep or established routines
- Worrying excessively about homework, tests or getting things wrong
- Withdrawing from friends or becoming preoccupied with friendship difficulties
- Where symptoms repeatedly appear around school or other stressful situations, anxiety may be playing a part.
What can cause school anxiety?
A child who previously enjoyed school may begin struggling after a change in circumstances. Friendship problems, bullying, academic pressure, difficulties with a particular subject, changes at home or an upsetting experience at school may all contribute. For younger children, separation can sometimes be especially difficult. They may worry about being away from a parent or become concerned that something will happen while they are at school.
Older children may face different pressures. Social relationships often become more complicated, expectations increase and concerns around fitting in, being judged or keeping up academically can become much more prominent. Online communication can also mean that social pressures do not necessarily stop when the school day ends.
School anxiety and neurodivergent children
The return to school can be particularly demanding for some neurodivergent children, including children with ADHD or autism.
Changes in routine, sensory demands, busy classrooms, social expectations, transitions between lessons and the pressure of staying organised can all make school more difficult to manage. Some children may appear to cope during the school day but become overwhelmed once they get home. Parents can then find themselves seeing a very different side of their child from the one described by teachers and staff at the school.
It is also important not to assume that school-related difficulties automatically indicate ADHD, autism or another condition. Anxiety, sleep problems, learning difficulties, experiences at school and other factors can sometimes produce overlapping behaviours.
Where there are broader concerns around attention, behaviour, development or emotional wellbeing, a more detailed assessment may help build a clearer picture.
Why can anxiety become worse before September?
The anticipation can be as difficult as the event itself. During the summer holidays, many of the pressures connected with school temporarily disappear. As September gets closer, those worries can return before the child has even walked back through the school gates. This can be particularly noticeable if the previous academic year was difficult.
A long break can also make the move back into routine feel more abrupt. Earlier bedtimes, morning routines, uniforms, schoolwork and social expectations all return at once. For children who already find transitions difficult, that can feel like a lot.
How can parents support a child who is anxious about returning to school?
It can be tempting to tell a worried child that there is nothing to worry about. The problem is that the fear may feel very real to them. Giving them space to explain what they are worried about can be more helpful. A broad question such as “Why don’t you want to go to school?” can sometimes feel too difficult to answer. Breaking the day down may make things easier.
- Is it getting through the school gate?
- Being away from a parent?
- A particular lesson?
- Lunchtime?
- Friendships?
- Travelling to school?
- Being asked to speak in class?
The answer can completely change the type of support that may help. It can also be useful to gradually reintroduce a school-day routine before September. Returning to regular bedtimes and waking times, preparing school clothes and equipment, and talking through what the first day will look like can reduce some of the uncertainty.
Where there is a specific concern about school, speaking to teachers or staff before the new term begins may also help.
When might professional support be worth considering?
Feeling nervous before a new school year does not mean a child needs therapy or psychiatric assessment. Some anxiety around change is understandable. Professional support may be worth considering when anxiety is persistent, severe or beginning to affect school attendance, sleep, relationships, family life or everyday functioning.
Parents may also want to seek support when they notice significant changes in behaviour, frequent distress, increasing withdrawal or a pattern that has continued for some time. The right next step will depend on what the child is experiencing and what appears to be contributing to it.
Can therapy help with school anxiety?
Talking therapies can give children and young people space to explore what they are experiencing and develop ways of managing difficult thoughts, emotions or situations. The most appropriate type of support will depend on the child’s age, circumstances and needs.
The Therapy Company provides counselling and CBT for children and young people, with face-to-face appointments available in Preston and online appointments also available.
Parents do not need to know exactly which type of therapy their child needs before making contact. An initial conversation can help clarify what has been happening and what type of support may be suitable.
When might child psychiatry be considered?
Child psychiatry may be appropriate where there are more complex concerns around a child’s mental health, behaviour or development, or where a clearer understanding of diagnosis and treatment is needed. A Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist can consider the child’s difficulties in the context of their wider history, current circumstances and development, rather than looking at one symptom in isolation.
This can be particularly relevant where difficulties are significant, have persisted over time or where there are questions about whether anxiety may be occurring alongside another condition. The Therapy Company provides private child psychiatry for children and young people across the UK, with face-to-face appointments available in Preston, Lancashire, and online appointments available where clinically appropriate.
Getting support before the new school year
If your child is becoming increasingly anxious as September approaches, you do not necessarily need to wait until they are back at school to start talking about what is happening. Sometimes the first step is simply working out what part of the return to school feels difficult. For some children, the anxiety may have only appeared recently. For others, the new school year may be bringing older concerns back to the surface.
The Therapy Company provides support for children and young people through counselling, CBT and private child psychiatry, with appointments available in Preston and online where appropriate.
If you are unsure what type of support your child may need, you can contact the team to discuss what has been happening and the options available.